


Two Bodhi Day ficlets

by magician



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Ficlet, Holidays, M/M, Pre-Slash, TS Secret Santa 2016, The Sentinel Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magician/pseuds/magician
Summary: Two people search for illumination





	1. Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> These were originally written for the 2016 TS Secret Santa Drabble Days for the prompt "Bodhi Day". They are not related to each other except for the prompt. Bodhi Day is a Buddhist holiday that commemorates the day Siddhartha Gautama achieved enlightenment and became The Historical Buddha. It is celebrated on December 8. Namaste.

Blair was grading papers when Jim came through the front door.  
  
"How was it?" Blair asked, although he could see the effect the week away had on Jim. He was practically glowing.  
  
Blair had been taken aback when Jim showed interest in a flyer announcing a Mahayana Buddhist retreat. The participants would stay at the temple, eat vegetarian meals, listen to dharma readings and meditate. Additionally, the retreaters had to maintain silence. Blair knew Jim could be reserved, but this seemed extreme. Nevertheless, Jim signed up.  
  
"It was great," Jim answered. "Every day was all planned out with nothing to worry about.  We did sitting meditations and listened to dharma teachings.  We did walking meditations outside.  The grounds are gorgeous and it's so clean and quiet.  It's hard to believe the temple is actually inside the city.  Chief, you would have loved how they prepared the food. Simple but tasty and nourishing. They grow a lot of the vegetables right there."  
  
"So you didn't miss meat?"  Blair raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.  
  
"Not at all. And you could _feel_ the devotion everyone puts into their work--very much like at St. Sebastian's. I felt totally cared for the entire time."  Jim walked over and leaned his hip against the kitchen counter, folding his arms and smiling.  
  
"You know, the silence thing really surprised me. It was so... freeing. I never realized how tiring it is to keep up conversations--even small talk. No one expected me to talk or thought I was rude when I didn't.  It really cut down on distractions and helped me keep my focus.  
  
"But the most helpful thing was the meditating. It was hard at first to detach from my thoughts and worries. But, eventually, the chatter in my head quieted down until everything became clear." Jim smiled at Blair.   
  
"Then today when we finished our last dharma lesson, they announced that it was Bodhi Day. As we walked through the temple, the chanting was astonishing. It was like one, long, song that surrounded us like a giant hug." Jim gave a contented sigh.  
  
Listening to Jim describe his experiences, Blair's heart filled with joy. How often had he wanted this peace for Jim? How much did Jim deserve an opportunity to lay down his burden so completely? He realized Jim was talking again, but looking out the balcony doors; a sure sign he was broaching a difficult subject.  
  
"Blair, I did this to re-energize, because we both know I needed it. But I also went to get some clarity. It's made me brave enough to tell you something.  
  
"I have a good life, but a hard one. Some days, the only reason it's bearable is you. For however long it continues, I want you in my life, to be my life partner. Could you possibly feel the same way?"  
  
Jim got his answer when Blair plastered himself across Jim's back and hugged him hard. "Yes, Jim, yes. In this life and the next for however long we have."  
  
Jim turned in Blair's arms and looked at him, joy and surprise in those clear blue eyes.  
  
Blair's look mirrored Jim's. "I guess I had an epiphany myself. I know who I want in my life more than anyone else, and it's you." Blair gave him a kiss as sweet and strong as the promise of his words. When they broke apart, Blair took Jim's hand.  
  
"You know, the Bodhi celebration will be going on for a while. After we settle a few things, I wouldn't mind visiting the temple. Light some incense, do a little chanting, some ritual cleansing? What do you say?"  
  
Having spoken more words in an hour than he had all week, Jim communicated his agreement by enveloping his beloved in a warm, strong hug.


	2. Quantum Enlightenment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi searches for enlightenment on Bodhi Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated teen for a short description of violence. Thanks to Becky's transcripts for the dialogue from TSbyBS. Canon divergent.

The quiet beauty of the Himalayas stood in stark contrast to the beehive of activity in the valley below. Hundreds of pilgrims were raising a twenty-foot pole festooned with colorful prayer flags. Naomi attached her own flag, hoping this Bodhi Day would provide illumination.  
  
Her heart had been heavy since Blair started working with the police. She'd ranted like a madwoman in Simon Banks' office, embarrassing Blair, because she just couldn't let it go. Since then, she'd tried to accept Blair's judgment and Jim's assurances that he'd keep Blair safe. Then Naomi had a horrible dream.  
  
_She called out to Blair, who smiled in surprise, arms open. They hugged and then he stiffened in her embrace and pulled back, clutching his stomach. Blood gushed out from between his fingers as he looked at her in shock. She looked down at her hands in horror; she was holding a large knife, covered in her son's blood._  
  
She woke, hysterical, and booked a ticket to Lhasa.  
  
Tibetan Buddhism weaves seamlessly with native shamanic practices. Naomi hoped a shaman could interpret her dream. After much smoking and chanting, the shaman pronounced enigmatically, "Not only the body dies."  After being dismissed with no further clarification, the Bodhi celebration held no more interest for Naomi and she left.  
  
The following spring, Naomi surprised Blair as he finished printing a thick sheaf of papers.  
  
"Your thesis? Is this your thesis? Is it finished?"  
  
"Yes, it's done, but it's just a first draft and it needs a lot of work."  
  
"Honey, you've always been your own worst critic. I'm sure it's wonderful. Why don't you let me read it. I'll give you some feedback."  
  
"No, no, no, no. It's just not good enough yet. And I want you to be really proud, all right? Just let it be, okay? Now, I'm sorry I can't visit right now. I've got to go meet Jim."  
  
Certain Blair was being too self-critical, Naomi considered eliciting an unbiased opinion--maybe from Sid? She opened Blair's laptop to "recent documents", clicked on "Thesis revision 8"... and felt a stabbing pain in her abdomen, reminding her of that horrible dream. She decided to hold off sending the document to Sid.  Her intuition told her she should read it first, despite Blair's wishes.  
  
As she read, she experienced flashes of insight. How much Blair admired Jim as a man, not just because of his abilities. How disclosing Jim's gifts would draw attention to an intensively private person. How Jim would hate that--maybe hate Blair for writing the dissertation. How this paper could destroy her son.  
  
She recalled the shaman's words and finally understood her dream. If she had sent this to Sid as an act of love for Blair and it somehow got out, it would kill her son.  Blair's _soul_ would die. This friendship he had developed with Jim would die. The nascent love she sensed between Jim and Blair could die, too. She needed a plan.  
  
First things first. "Sweetie," Naomi began casually, as she and Blair met for lunch the next day. "I borrowed your laptop to send some emails, because mine's in the shop. I'm surprised it's not password protected."  
  
Blair froze. He flashed on Brackett, who'd broken into the loft and pieced together Jim's secret from one of Blair's papers.  He thought about Alex, a master criminal who rifled through his office file cabinet and listened to his sentinel tapes. He remembered in painful detail the fight he and Jim had over the introductory chapter--how exposed Jim felt that other people would know personal details of his life.  He thought about the thesis draft that had Jim's name all over it because he hadn't had the time to hide Jim's identity. How could he be so stupid, so careless; especially after those close calls? Had the stress of the last year affected his judgment?

Blair started a mental checklist of everything he needed to do to protect Jim, including burning the hard copy he'd printed out yesterday.  But first things first. "I'll do it as soon as we get back. Thanks, Ma," Blair said gratefully. "I'm so glad you decided to come for a visit."  He reached across to take her hand and smiled.  
  
Naomi smiled back and felt at peace for the first time in two years. Now all she had to do was a little Jewish mother nudging to get the boys going in the right direction. They'd be together by Rosh Hashanah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raise your hand if you found TSbyBS unsatisfactory. Yeah, me too. Not the least because of how they played Naomi. Sorry this is not holiday cheery, but I suspect it'll work out fine--by Rosh Hashanah! ;^)


End file.
